WTC : 008 – Finding your resonate frequency and giving yourself permission to pause.

In this episode of the Wartime CEO Podcast, Kinosha Soden joined the show to share her life being a multipotentialite. Kinosha is the creator, writer, producer & lead host of Good Things DC. The former Mrs. DC America 2016 and I spoke about finding your resonate frequency, giving yourself permission to pause and moving beyond the gilt of not being who you thought you would be.

Kinosha Being a Multipotentialite

We spoke about how she is a the writer and producer for Good Things DC which is a big show that is being released (goodthingsdc.com) in February 2021

[02:23] For me, I take it as how things present themselves. I do it whether they are professional, personal, or part of your passion or whatever the case might be. I do it. But I’m no stranger to saying no.

[05:04] Having multiple commitments or if I have work to do, I don’t get to sit and socialize. After school and homework, I go to my next ballet class. My life was always in these categories, and I take time to acknowledge that.

[06:54] Mental organization is a must. Some of it also comes from just wanting to focus on what I needed to be focused on when I needed to be, and not kind of worrying about one or the other when I was in it.

[07:40] I don’t ever feel like I’m doing a lot until someone else says so or If I write down what I’ve been doing. I’m like, maybe I need to take a vacation.

Commitment and Focus on Interests

[08:38] I think people are probably juggling a little bit more and doing their very best to keep and incorporate balance into their life.

[10:52] There is that little piece of me that’s always telling me that I want myself to focus on me doing this.

[13:42] Sometimes we have a hard time telling people that we’re other things besides the things you do together with your friends because you didn’t want them to change that perspective. But I think it’s a safeguard not to harm anything because we can’t control other people’s thoughts in their minds and things. 

Taking Opportunities

[20:30] I learned a great lesson from our CEO, and that is never to take away from yourself what you’ve already accomplished. If you’re worried about where that will place you or how that will make people see you, then don’t be there.

[22:02] I think it must show, and I say all of this because no one should feel bad about doing what you need to do. After all, I do think it’s what makes us uniquely us. I think it makes people who have different agendas do those other things successfully. Sometimes you do have to compartmentalize parts of your life, and if they eloquently work themselves together in a harmonious way.

Relationship and Work

[23:45] What helps to compartmentalize our relationship at work is that we have our line of practice, which helps things a great deal. So, we have our areas of expertise; we work collaboratively together. Everybody respects everyone’s expertise, talents, and abilities and what they’re there for what they offer. Everyone has a role with skill and we all respect that we do things very differently.

[25:25] I do also think a big part is seeing what each person gives. And I think that because it is a family practice and a community practice to practice.

Community Duties

[27:00] My father in Law said, “Well, that’s fine, I don’t care about that. What I care about is giving people the care they need so that they don’t feel they are outstanding, and they can’t get the level of care that their neighbor somewhere else can get.”

[27:30] But I think that our whole purpose in our entire mindset is to care for the community at the end of the day.

Using Passion for Contribution

[31:16] I felt that something was missing as I helped out in this fantastic medical work for patients. As an engineer kind of person, I wanted to help out that way.

[32:27] And so, I thought, “what can I add to this? If I were to come here, what would I add to other than being another body?” And because of that, in moving forward, we have to do something to continue to build up, if we’re going to be the next generation to lead this into the next, wherever it’s going to be, then I want to, you know, make sure that we’re not only just preserving, but we’re also you know, pioneering things.

[33:39] My father Law’s specialty was mostly skin cancer removal and reconstruction. I used that idea and combined my passion for engineering things for laboratory refinements of products. I wanted to become a person that would add to pioneering things and not just the fourth person on board.

Taking a Break

[35:12] I’ve learned to do it in small ways throughout the day, or micro-breaks. It’s like training myself that if I say today is Sunday, I am taking a Sabbath. But making it indeed a Sabbath was not easy.

[36: 31] I’m jealous of my husband and my daughter because they are probably two of the most easygoing people I know in life. Yet, they perform at excellent levels all the time, but they are just calm. I didn’t understand how, but at the same time, I’m grateful that, that my daughter is not like me. There are so many things that I can look back on. Looking back on my adolescence, I’m thinking; I probably spent way too much energy on something that I didn’t need.

Learning Where to Exert Your Effort

[42:34] I’ve learned not to snowball. I used to do be jittery and do all sorts of household chores when we had events, and my good friends say, “What are you doing there? Just sit down, relax, it’s going to be fine.”

[43:34] My mother in law taught me that there will come a time that you have to remember, as a mom, you’re always going to want to do anything as a parent in general.” But I think sometimes moms have a little bit more mental problem with this. There will be times when you’re not going to be able to be all that you want to be right to them, which is not the same as everything they need because you’re already that.

[45:39] Recognizing what’s important, what is the priority, and learning sanity is way up here these days. It means that taking a day to sit and do nothing, even though there are things to do but is not that urgent.

Kinosha’s Micro Breaks

[47:07] Putting on some headphones and listen to some music. I’m such a huge music person that I even dance around the kitchen. It makes me feel happy. I have a friend who has an earnest job at a government, and I think that she missed her calling as a standup comedian because evetime I visit her Facebook page, I’d be in tears in two seconds. 

[51:15] Finding the joy that you love is essential. Whether it’s music or dancing or the little things, to keep my attention. I’m that person that if I’m watching something on TV, I’m also like writing notes and doing other stuff.

Full Throttle

[52:49] I think we all do a lot of things well if we can set our mind to doing and doing a good job at it. You can force yourself to do anything well, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s fulfilling. That is something that gets you out of bed in the morning.

[53:51] If anything that lights my fire in that way, I go all out. And so, I feel fortunate that I do have a few passions that I know for me, will always do that. And no matter how tired I am, or how exhausted I am, I’m still going to be there.

[57:30] If you spend your entire life even being excellent at everything that you do, no matter what it is, but never get that opportunity to find indeed what propels you, what forces you to kick it into gear, then there’s a part of that spirit within you that may die.

[1:03:02] Doing what you love while embracing and respecting it, you know that’s going to satisfy, create, and build a foundation within you. That is unbreakable.

Advice About Following Your Passion

[1:04:29] I would say stay open to opportunities.

[1:07:51] That was something that allowed me to focus on myself. If you can find something that forces you, think about who you are, and give you the ability to explain to people who you are, take that leap.

[1:12:37] I think a big part of my life has always been choosing to live on purpose, not from what I can do, what possibilities I can have, or what I think I deserve. It is truly living on purpose.

[1:15:46] I think as a human being, we have doubts. But I hate not trying because we can’t go back in time. So, do something that you’re not going to look back on hopefully, and either wish you would have done it better.

Key Quotes:

[16:23 – 16:35]

“I think there comes a time when you have to choose sometimes to do things or to change things that you know you may not want to, but it’s for the best benefit overall.”

[35:35 – 35:38]

“If you do not do what you’re meant for, at some point in time, when it requires to show its true capacity. It will die.”

Learn More About Kinosha

• Visit Soderma Dermatology at https://sodermaskin.com/
• Connect with Kinosha Soden at Instagram
• Good Things DC